So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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