Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
