I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
