Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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