our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
