I hope mine doesn't look like that
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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