My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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