i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
apparently the secret to your success is patron
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
