I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
