and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
