brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
