Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
