My hand turned me down
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
