I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
