Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
love makes seman taste better
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
