Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
