So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
