ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
