You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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