I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
