its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
