therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
