her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
