you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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