I faked an abortion last night.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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