Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
