Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Do you still have your period?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
