No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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