It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
