We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
