Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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