ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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