Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Found the puke drawer
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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