Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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