don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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