shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
