I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
