I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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