Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
