We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
