I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
