The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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