You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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