You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
