Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
