I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
