No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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