Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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