first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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