His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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