But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
one might say we're banned from that church
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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