i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
