I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
